unfiltered answers to hinge prompts

who wants to date me

Morning all,

I recently deleted Hinge because I was tired of it. You know when you look at yourself in the mirror for too long and start to wonder if you’re real? That’s what was happening.

During this downtime, I’ve forced myself to be more open when I’m in the world. You know, actually talk to the people in my path. In front of my face. I didn’t meet my husband yet, but I’d like to be better at that, at being in the world. And the key to getting better (for someone who generally keeps to herself) is practice. Practice doing that thing that humans have been doing up until only very recently: converse with the other human beings in our direct vicinity, rather than ones that occupy a small (but oh so expansive) rectangle in our hands.

Despite the clear negatives, I am generally pro online dating. But I’d like to relate to it more as a tool in the toolset rather than the only option. All to say, I’m getting ready to get back on there. On Hinge. The part I’m dreading the most is the prompts. Any responses I craft feel so staged and robotic.

To loosen up and settle into this necessary evil I thought why not just dump out all the things you wish you could say. Maybe something authentic that’s also fit for public consumption will emerge.

Well, I have a little treat for you today. My unfiltered answers to Hinge prompts:

I'm weirdly attracted to 
• Men who just got out of ten year relationships and aren’t ready to date
• Subaru Crosstreks

My Love Language is
Unpacking family dynamics 

All I ask is that you
Hang out with me

My most irrational fear
• My cat not loving me
• My cat breaking out of the apartment
• My stove spontaneously combusting 

Dating me is like
Having your soul held, but also ripped out and mind blown

My greatest strength
• Leaving parties early without saying goodbye
• Yelling at bad boys

I want someone who
Will make me soup

Typical Sunday
Spending time with friends and then experiencing irrational separation anxiety 

This year, I really want to
• Get a job 
• Meet someone I like
• Go to London

I bet you can't 
Be a decent person

Unusual skills
• Catastrophizing
• Drinking too much coffee and remaining unaffected
• Hiding my apartment keys from myself

A life goal of mine
Regular bowel movements

Biggest risk I've taken
• Going off Metamucil
• Free-bleeding in a yoga class on the second day of my period

A random fact I love is
Cats started meowing to mimic the sound of human infants

I go crazy for
• Eating cereal in bed
• My cat’s breath
• Ketchup

Do you agree or disagree that
I’m funny and cute

I'm convinced that
You’re mad at me

Give me travel tips for
Your mind

I'm looking for
• A job that pays well that I won’t hate
• My favorite pair of socks
• The one thing that will make things feel OK again

A shower thought I recently had
Will I ever actually clean this

I'll fall for you if
You tell me you feel a real connection and then break things off two days later

Change my mind about
• Challah should be torn, never sliced
• Boys who don’t snack should not be trusted

One thing I'll never do again
• Go to Nordstrom on Christmas
• Eat an entire box of Peanut Butter Puffins in one sitting

Never have I ever
Been fully confident in any decision I’ve ever made

I recently discovered that
Andy Anderson is allegedly 23 in How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Harrowing.

I get myself out of a funk by
Looking up at a backlit cloud and crying

I hype myself up by
Singing made-up songs to my cat

Don't hate me if I
Start to get annoyed by everything you do

First round is on me if
You’re on time

My happy place
Nitrous

I won't shut up about
I think they’ve discontinued tropical Starbursts (the green pack) and we need to be talking about it.

I wind down by
Eating an entire box of saltines and watching The Great British Baking Show

I feel most supported when
Someone makes a dinner reservation

I want someone who
Has a beard, or can grow one

My self-care routine is
• Journaling
• Taking walks
• Having full conversations with myself. At full volume. Sometimes in public.

I know the best spot in town for
Buying gushers

Green flags I look for
Two pillows minimum and bed sheets that are not brown or navy blue

I geek out on
Cat tail movement patterns and what they mean

My simple pleasures
• Organizing a book shelf
• Drinking ice cold water
• Applying SPF

I'll brag about you to my friends if
You ask me how I’m doing today

I wish more people knew
How amazing and gorgeous I am

Wishing everyone a lifetime of love,
Ariella