Hello all,
Somehow I’ve made it through two years of this newsletter without sharing my list of go-to snacks and I’m rectifying that now.
I’ll kick off the list with my newest snack discovery and the teachable moment it brought with it (and yes, it’s a dating metaphor): the most intoxicating, ruin your life snacks are the ones you usually pick up on a whim, become obsessed with, and then they’re somehow impossible to track down. It all begins so innocently: One day you see a funky looking bag of something potentially interesting. You pick it up and think: “huh, I’ll give these a spin.” Then your world changes. You’ve finished the entire bag in a blur and you swear it’s a taste you’ll never tire of. You vow to buy another bag—no, TWO—the next day. You feed the hunger. When you run out of those two bags, you think “OK, I can take a break.” You test yourself as you walk back to that bodega you first found them in, feeling confident that you can get by a couple days without them. A mild panic rises when you see their usual spot is empty. They’re gone. Before you even realize what you’ve done, you’re sweating in your winter coat, on a mission to find the other stores that have your special snack in stock. That’s half the fun. You don’t have the system down quite yet. It’s a rush, a thrill, and one that’s headed straight for illness. (The infatuation to nausea pipeline is inevitable.) You will eventually find another store that carries them, but that store will one day run out, too. The chase will continue, and finding this special snack will never be guaranteed. This is what keeps you hooked. Each time you find a stash, you stock up. You feverishly eat two bags in a night, maybe three. It’s not even about the snack itself at this point, but—as they say—the only way is through, and in a matter of weeks the love affair will end in a bloated, nauseating mess. But oh the joy of that first “fuck, you’re about to ruin my life” bite.
My current twin flame snack:
1. spudsy sweet potato puff snacks - cheezy flavor
These had me wanting to get out from under a blanket at the dark hour of 5:45pm and walk myself 18 minutes back to the Whole Foods to get another bag.
Good for: people who wish they could eat packing peanuts, have sensitive stomaches, and/or like things that straddle the sweet and savory line. They also come in a cinnamon churo flavor if that sparks something for any of you.
Skip if you: don’t want to risk finding love only to lose it.
*I waited two weeks before I bought another bag because I want these to last. They’re that good.
2. unsweetened bing dried cherries
A lovely, rich, tart and sweet bite. Grown-up gushers.
Good for: a sense of luxury
Skip if you: hate dried fruit. That’s the only reason why these should ever be overlooked.
3. yasso pops
I took a long break from these (4 years total to be exact), and they’re back. And this time, I’m all in on the plain chocolate. No other flavor matters.
Good for: the nostalgia of a fudgesicle with a dash of responsible protein. These are made with Greek yogurt, so you can have them for breakfast!
Skip if you: have a zero tolerance policy for gas (I think it’s worth it, but I live alone and it’s a very personal choice).
4. ginger cookies thins
Eating a sleeve of these is like eating sweet air. Dip them in coffee. Dip them in hot chocolate. Suck on them to make them last longer. I ate an entire sleeve in a night and felt mostly OK afterwards. Just some mild nausea and a gingery residue on my molars, but thats it! Would be lovely crumbled up and eaten with milk. A cozy seasonal cereal.
Good for: getting in the holiday spirit.
Skip if you: want seasonal depression to prevail.
5. fig newtons
Specifically, Fig Newmans. I don’t know what they’re doing to these, but, as always, Newman’s Own does it again. For some reason the low fat pack (yellow) tastes better than any other? I got it by mistake and have never turned back.
Good for: a satisfying nighttime TV snack. No too sweet, so it won’t send your blood sugar raging (at least it doesn’t taste like it would). Biting into one of these feels like how I’d imagine it would feel to bite into quicksand. And that’s a VERY good thing.
Skip if you: have negative childhood associations with fig newtons. They are incredibly romantic to me for reasons I don’t quite understand, so they’re packed with an added layer of joy. Snackwells vanilla sandwich cookies, however, make me feel inexplicably sad, so no matter how delicious they are, it never feels good to eat them.
6. cotton candy grapes
A shock that these are on my list. I hate cotton candy, but I love cotton candy grapes. Go figure.
Good for: a mindless bright bite
Skip if you: are committed to rationing. Once I start, I can’t stop.
7. olives
Good for: when my heart wants cheese but my digestive system screams no.
Skip if you: can eat cheese without a problem.
8. tortilla chips
Specifically, the Mis Ninas brand ones. Though Xochitl will work in a pinch.
Good for: scooping tuna, scooping eggs, crumbling on salad, snacking after breakfast, snacking after lunch, snacking after dinner, and snacking in bed.
Skip if you: want to miss out on the most utilitarian snack we have.
9. mixed frozen appetizer bites
Why wait for guests to enjoy perfectly puffed, sweet and savory pastries in the home? As someone who doesn’t particularly enjoy entertaining, I skipped this section of the frozen food aisle so as to not feel sad about missing out on all these poppable delights—until now, that is. Solo cocktail hour. Hold the cocktails.
Good for: getting through the last hour of the work day.
Skip if you: are afraid to get a little crazy, have a little fun.
Wishing you all an inspired winter of snacking.
Thanks for reading, 💗A
I kid you not I was rubbing my feet together when I read that line. Only thing missing was a snack. Tortilla chips are my kryptonite. 🤤Happy Holidays!
Omg same! I love everything about this. I think snackwells are deeply meshed into 90s dirt culture for me to enjoy. Except I can fuck with a bowl of special k